the difference between men and women

[flychucker]

so I have 2 boys 9 and 7 ..my brother and i took up fishing as adults ,as we had no father ...so we like to take and teach my boys all we can about life and nature..

[btree]

Tough one man. My dad is a forester, and he used to take me out of school every second friday when I was in Elementary school to go wander the bush with him. Went on plenty of fishing and hunting trips on weekends, but once I got into middle/high school I had to wait for long weekends and summer for my outings with dad.

I'm a teacher now and really get choked up at parents who take their kids out of school for weeks at a time...and even more so at parents who let their kids stay home and skip on whims...but I do value the pure education of being out in nature and learning real skills and getting in touch with solid values - the sense of responsibility, respect and self reliance, let alone the meditative quiet time we all enjoy out when fishing or hunting when being quiet is often manditory.

I'm glad to hear that your kids get the balance of being pushed academically while at the same time being given the opportunity to learn through experience in the great outdoors.

I'm not saying either you or your wife are right or wrong, but if I were the teacher of your kids, I'd appreciate them being in class rather than skipping (in the case of your wife's choices) or camping ( in the case of your wishes )

Perhaps a moderate middle ground seems more ideal: be there every weekend and do the camping thing than two or three times a month; be there during the week so you are there for the other values like accountability- going to school rather than staying home on a whim etc.

I have no idea what your circumstances are, but up in in Fort St. John I watch lots of kids get more and more lost with Dad out in camp working the rigs for months at a time while mom does the best she can with what's left.

Families need to be together to survive. If everyone is seperated by thousands of kms, then it's a geographical divorce anyway... cynical I guess, but thems how she can go I guess.

I'm lucky to have had parents who were always there at home every day of the week.

I realize not everyone has the opportunity to work the 9-5, monday to friday and alway be home at night, but it's one of those things....a week in the bush bonding wont replace years of being home every evening, or months of being away.

I appreciate your venting, and I hope that you can appreciate that I really do not know you, and I just offer what I've observed in my growing up as compared to the kids I now teach and their lives which are a lot different than mine growing up.

Any way, enough Dr. Phil.

Have fun with your boys. Be home as much as you can, and love your wife man. She probably just wants what you want for your boys, just in different ways. Perhaps compromise - Take 1 day off school over the May long weekend, and there's probably a Pro-D day in May as well (mine is next Friday the 8th) so that makes another longweekend for your kids as far as school goes - take another 3 days camping then. Then you get two trips in May (albeit shorter trips, but it disrupts school less, keeps the missus happier and allows you to keep the conflict to a minimum and perhaps get back on with the good with your wife. Or just take the May long, and then go right after school is out. I know you probably have restrictions as far as holidays and work goes, but just an idea)

Good luck.

You're not wrong, but I have no idea if you are right...and that's a lot to say, and I've already said too much.

[geoffvl]

I think you wife doesn't want you to go b/c you're leaving her out of the picture. You come home from toronto and take the boys for a week w/o spending time with her. I don't think any of our wives would like it if we were gone for 2 months and then come home and leave for a week.

The school skipping and killing talk is just an excuse for her to try to make you change your mind. Every dad dreams about taking his boys on a camping trip but maybe you should do a trip with you, your wife and your boys. I don't know how good or bad your marriage is but I know the best thing a father can do for his kids is love their mom.

If you marriage is crumbling, then coming home and going camping with your boys and leaving your wife home won't make anything better.

Just my thoughts.

[flychucker]

thats funny , I thought my marriage was rather typical...

[Ruger]

my two cents.

#1. you want to do the right thing. kids (boys especially) are meant to spend their free time romping around the back yard, the bush, etc. and learning about the world. it's how they learn.

#2. get your hands on a copy of the book Wild At Heart. it explains the male pysche and how it functions and why we do the things we do. it's written from a Christian perspective, but the info in it is very useful. it's possible that your wife feels left out because she is the only female in the family.

#3. have a discussion with your wife about how you feel and find out why she feels what she does. as an observation, most teachers and people who tend toward that occupation, usually are very close minded and left wing thinkers, whic does not allow room for hunting etc.

#4. see a counsellor instead of looking for advice on the internet.

[btree]

my two cents.

#1. you want to do the right thing. kids (boys especially) are meant to spend their free time romping around the back yard, the bush, etc. and learning about the world. it's how they learn.

#2. get your hands on a copy of the book Wild At Heart. it explains the male pysche and how it functions and why we do the things we do. it's written from a Christian perspective, but the info in it is very useful. it's possible that your wife feels left out because she is the only female in the family.

#3. have a discussion with your wife about how you feel and find out why she feels what she does. as an observation, most teachers and people who tend toward that occupation, usually are very close minded and left wing thinkers, whic does not allow room for hunting etc.

#4. see a counsellor instead of looking for advice on the internet.

I'd have to agree with that, except for the last part of #3...try talking with teachers in any small town - you'll find a whole lot of right to center wing blood thirsty hunters and obsessive compulsive fishers - we need to be! Try being locked up with 4 x 30 kids in a room for 6-7 hours a day - you'd need some quiet time tormenting and or killing small creatures too I have no idea what teachers in the city tend to be like, but in Fort St. John, Smithers and Prince George the ones I've worked with have tended be very outdoors focussed and quite politically diverse - even the odd teacher who voted for Gordo and the Liberals (BC's center-right party on most issues)

Teachers are a diverse breed, though certainly the "lefty" non-hunter/fishers get all the press :doh:

What we do share for the most part is a sense of self righteousness which is a hard one to break...and we like to comment in everything (ever notice how much I post here! 1 - I have a fishing problem, 2 - I have a fishing problem, 3 - I'm a teacher, and 4) I have a fishing problem )

Any way, venting is good...

Have fun camping

[Ruger]

I'd have to agree with that, except for the last part of #3...try talking with teachers in any small town - you'll find a whole lot of right to center wing blood thirsty hunters and obsessive compulsive fishers - we need to be! Try being locked up with 4 x 30 kids in a room for 6-7 hours a day - you'd need some quiet time tormenting and or killing small creatures too I have no idea what teachers in the city tend to be like, but in Fort St. John, Smithers and Prince George the ones I've worked with have tended be very outdoors focussed and quite politically diverse - even the odd teacher who voted for Gordo and the Liberals (BC's center-right party on most issues)

Teachers are a diverse breed, though certainly the "lefty" non-hunter/fishers get all the press :doh:

What we do share for the most part is a sense of self righteousness which is a hard one to break...and we like to comment in everything (ever notice how much I post here! 1 - I have a fishing problem, 2 - I have a fishing problem, 3 - I'm a teacher, and 4) I have a fishing problem )

Any way, venting is good...

Have fun camping

good points. i suppose my generalization is more true for the lower mainland where i went to school.